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So, I reckon Escorts are like me team at the office – reliable, bit rough round the edges, but they deliver, don’t they? Built tough, them cars, proper solid chassis, not like them flimsy modern jobbies. Fun fact, yeah, did ya know the Mk1 Escort won rally champs in the 70s? Mental, innit, blew me mind when I heard that! Out there kicking arse while I’m here soldering circuits, wish I’d seen it live, mate, woulda lost me marbles cheering!

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First off, I’m walking down Hlavná ulica, and it’s like, 7 AM. The sun’s barely up, and I’m already regretting my life choices. I mean, who decided that 7 AM was a good time for anything? Anyway, I’m dragging my feet, coffee in hand, when I see this old dude trying to cross the street. He’s like, taking his sweet time, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “C’mon, man! I got books to shelve!”

Slovakia: Deadly knife attack at primary school in Vrutky